Thursday, November 29, 2007

Preparing to Preach on Advent 1A

It was a sermon about light
coming into the darkness
that I was supposed to preach
about not knowing the hour or day
about being ready
about beginnings and ends all mixed up together
and I began to make a list of examples of darkness
death
terror
weapons of mass destruction
(how is it possible those words exist together in our lexicon?)
destruction of homes
of families
of selves
and then I remembered that guy on the subway
the one I'd seen more than once
the one without eyes or ears
without sunglasses or hat to shield
us from his pain
eyes and ears burned off in some accident
too horrific for imagination or words
how he wandered the halls of the A train
in darkness like it was purgatory or punishment
holding a laminated newspaper article
words detailing his destruction
holding a hat for loose change
and how I thought to myself in that moment
come lord jesus come
thought it because I could not
bear the pain of him
could not
bear the thought of his life
come lord jesus come
how if he had eyes I could not
bear to look in them
and instead looked into my hands so neatly folded in my lap
and said to myself
come
come lord jesus come
come quickly
I wept for his life and my indifference all the while seated
and swaying with the rest like a silent greek chorus
waiting for the next stop to save us
or for him to move to the next car
come lord Jesus come
I say to myself
come
to me
come fire me
come all who are weary and carrying heavy burdens
come lord jesus come
come quickly
come
like light in the darkness
like waking from sleep
if only i had known the hour or the day
come
and make me ready.